From the dreads of Bob Marley to people who “rock rough and and stuff with they Afro Puff’s,” black people very much like having a quality hair cut/style/do. The stuff black people can do with their hair… it’s just…. it’s like a Transformer, one second it’s this, and then it is that. One day Ben Wallace has a big puffy fro, the next he has spelled his name in cornrows across his head.
Speaking of cornrows, if you want to ask your one black friend for cornrows, do not make the mistake of saying “cornrolls” because this would be “whack.” Many white people, approximately 22,000 of them, are or at some time prior have been unsure as to the pronunciation of said word. All black people of course know the correct spelling/pronunciation is cornrows from their extensive experience as Transformers. This is proven by simply doing this google search.
What is amazing about the cornrows, besides the numerous shapes, words, patterns, and celebrity faces that black people can put them in, is how quickly they can become the best afro in the room. Way better than your one Jewish friends Jew Fro at least. And the things a black person will do with that fro. Putt a pick in it, part it, puff it out into different shapes and curvatures. It really is a work of art; black art (The Harlem Renaissance coming soon). While Jewish people just sort of do this.
Black women do even more than their male counterparts, and those that can’t, get extensions until they can, something black people refer to as a “weave.” Weave or not, black women have some of the most extensive and beautiful braids, curls, bangs, cornrows, dreads, and fros. Often they will combine these together to create all new looks. White girls in high school often experiment with these “combinations” for a unique look at prom, only to end up looking like Christian from Project Runway.
White girls will often spend hours on their hair, making exclamations like “Ugghh I like hate my hair! Like it never stays how it is like supposed to.” A black women’s hair stays exactly how they damn well want it. And if they want it changed, they go to the bathroom for 3 minutes and come back looking like a whole new woman. They like their hair.
If your one black friend visits you one day with some cornrows in, don’t be shocked to see him later in the day with a big puff. Just take a deep breath, and remember; they are the only black person you know, and they are proud of their hair. So smile, give them a pound, and say “What up G/Yo/Dawg?”
ok, this one made me laugh!
Wow, this is reaaly nice and the line cut is neat. This is what we uesd to do to keep our hair fixed and nice for school back then in Africa.
wonderful.
lmao…yep, you got that right…
nice well written post
And yes, I was searching for a new hairstyle online when I came across the post…lol
This is clearly a white dude that wrote this crap. I understand most of it is true (and funny) but I dont appreciate how he says “just give them a pound and say dawg, Yo, etc.” black people dont even talk like that. Dont tell white people to say that to “their only black friend” because their “only black friend” would look at them like they’re stupid, then never talk to them again.
i dont thnk this angry black man understands this is a joke
lol@angry blackman, but yes for the most part the article was funny and true!
The reason you feel black peole love their hair is because you don’t have it and will never know how it is to have afro-centric hair.
This means its a form of SPECTACLE to you. You’re in awe at something so foreign to you and almost forget that its just as human as your own.
Sure you go out of your way to give black people props on the versatility and malleability of their hair but just because a comment is positive and without spite doesn’t mean it’s without racist connotation and ideology.
You fail to mention and flat out attempt to ignore that fact that for centuries white people have viewed afro-centric hair as lesser, comparing it to pubic hair.
With your enthymemes, you fail to mention that black hair products are scarcely available in leading department stores.
You fail to mention that our hegemonic, “American” culture has had a long history of making beauty synonomous with more ango-saxon (white) features. It’s still evidenced today as many black women and women with afro-centric har straighten it, making it “easier”, more “manageable” and more accepted in mainstream society.
Internalized oppression exists within black people and it would be silly for you assume they aren’t self conscious about their hair at all when most of the images that bombard them (and all of us) don’t visually represent them.
wat was yall thinkin when u put dis on ther and sayed it was black folks hairstyles well white folks go wit black folks and white folks are nasty dressers