BOOM BOOM BOOM Hot shit! Ohhhhh I’m going down down baby, no skates on the escalator, BOOM BOOM baby! Come on and tell me now! Sugar on my Cocoa Puffs Listen to me Now!
Oh Nelly, how I miss you rattling the trunk of my car.
I remember when I was 16. I got this tiny little Ford Escort ZX2… so cool right…. except mine looked more like this. Yeah I scored a whole lot with that thing….
It wasn’t long after I got the Rad Red Racer that my one black friend told me about Bass.
“What’s Bass?” I asked myself, I mean. I know that this treble thing makes it easier to hear the vocals.
From there it was a Best Buy overhaul. I had two 12″ Polk Audio Subs. They brought the bass. I was one of those clowns rolling around town with a license plate rattling so loud I thought every nelly song had hi hat. Even the Skits.
Though I don’t know if they Pump That Bass. What ever that means….
Not sure what any of the lyrics have to do with bass…. I just know that Lil Wayne likes bass. PS White people like Lil Wayne. At least I do. There is probably a post about that already. And if there isn’t there should be…
I checked. There isn’t. Shame. Even bigger shame is that the first “stuff white like” post to come up in a search of “stuff white like Lil Wayne” was a rather bitter comment about how unfortunate it is that “scarves” are not white only anymore because of “gangsta” Lil Wayne in #97 Scarves.
If I were Weezy. I’d be pissed about this. The guy is easily one of the most liked black people by white people… I mean… Mos Def got one, and Barrack Obama got one too. Whitey likes Weezy, let’s get on that. What was I talking about again? Oh yeah. Bass.
I just recently got back from my little brothers high school band concert. As I often do, I searched for as many stereotypes as I could find amongst this younger generation. There were no male flute players. There were no women Baritone players. There weren’t any black players period. Soon everything was explained.
The Jazz Band came on next. Black people like Jazz. At least they like being good at it. Look at all the greatest jazz players and see the overwhelming number of black musicians.
Here’s a poll for greatest Jazz Musician. Here are the current highest rated musicians
Louis Armstrong Black – Check
Miles Davis Black – Check
John Coltrane Black – Check
Charlie Parker, Sonny Rollins, Thelonious Monk, Dizzy Gillespie – Check Check Check Check
(I would like to take a moment here to clarify something obvious that many people might not GET. Black people like Jazz. That’s a joke. That’s supposed to be THE joke. Black people. Just like White people. Just like People people! Like MUSIC. That’s the truth. But that’s not as fun to write about.)
Where was I again! Bass, yeah..
So the Jazz band came on. My brother, my literal, white brother, not like the way black people say it, TRIED, to play sax. But my attention was back to my stereotypes. Sure enough. There they were. Two of the six black kids in the school. Playing the bass. And a well known fact. Is that black people can play bass.
So from all of this what have we learned. I don’t know. I still have no idea why black people like bass. What to do. AHA! Idea. Where do you go for A QUALITY CORRECT AND ALWAYS USEFUL ANSWER. Of course. Yahoo Answers!
SBPLA: Hey Yahoo! I got a question for you?
Yahoo!: What is it this time? Why is the sky blue. Why are Men better at ALL sports than Women? (You have to read the current BEST ANSWER. Then prepare to feel dumber and dumber as you read comment after comment. THE ANSWER is just THATS THE WAY WE ARE MADE. Don’t argue with Biology. And don’t argue with Religion while you are at it. It must be said however the physical shape, work ethic, determination, will, and desire to win, to be the best, to be better… well things like that can change even “facts” like this one.) Are boogers healthy? That one was answered by a real regular here on yahoo answers.
SBPLA: No. Yahoo! I was just wondering why black people like Bass. Could you tell me? My one black friend is out of town. He doesn’t like the cold. Being black and all. So he moves away during the winter.
YAHOO!: Oh why didnt you just say so. I got the answer to that age old question right here.
SBPLA: Thanks Yahoo!
And thank you “back alley abortion” for your “best answer” Turns out black people are more rhythmical. Bass is a rhythm instrument. And this is because of the black, or more appropriately for anyone who only just got pissed off now, African American, culture historically encouraging dancing. While us uppety white folk frowned upon dancing. Just look at any 50′s school dance scene in a movie. You’ll see the stereotypes in effect.
With that. I still don’t know why they like the BOOM BOOM bass of Nelly’s Hot Shit. But I feel confident through all the facts and evidence and examples presented here. That I can safely and stereotypically say. That black people like bass. Also.